Now those 5 words have been haunting me all day! What do they really mean?
Do they mean "I don't want anything anymore, because I already have everything I could never need?"
Or do they mean "I don't want anything anymore, because I can't take this anymore and I'm done?"
As I sit here, I realize none of you know what I am talking about because it has been so long since I last wrote. I promise that I will get back into the swing of things. But right now, in this every second, minute, hour, day all I can think about is those 5 words.
Wondering if those are the last 5 words I am going to hear from you, or was this just something that you needed time to think and you'll be back.
All I can say is these last few seconds, minutes, & hours have been the hardest I've had to face in a long time.................
"So that's it?"
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
I "Like" You
In life you choose a path, either a path of self control and the feeling or self worth, or you choose the path less traveled.
Now as many of you know about me, I come off as a strong, independent, no BS kind of girl. Sometimes that makes me look like a “bully” or a “bitch” others it shows people how strong I am.
Now yes I am this person. But sometimes I have my moments in life I’m not necessarily proud of. I let my little insecurities get the best of me and I make the wrong decisions.
Now unfortunately this is a time in my life where that little insecure Maggie has come out, and it’s ruining a relationship that I’ve waited so long for. A person I’ve waited 6 years for, and for what? For this little piece of me that just needs to SHUT UP!
I’m NOT that person, I have faith in him, and I trust him more then he will ever know. But then WHY does this tiny little thing take over once in a while?
I’m not even going to waste my time trying to figure out why! I’m moving forward, without that doubt, without those trust issues and on with what I hope to be the greatest thing in my life. Now, that’s saying he even wants that from me anymore.
I’ve really screwed up. I wasn’t the friend he was looking for, I was adding more stress then happiness and now I understand why he made the choice he did.
My life is in God’s hands, and I pray to God he brings him back to me. (as cheesy as this sounds)
I pray that he realizes that I made one mistake and that we can move on from this even stronger then we were before.
This man has brought so much Joy, Love, and Happiness to my life I can’t Thank Him enough!
He will always be a friend, I will always be there for him, and I hope he knows that.
I just hope that since I believed in second chances with him, he can believe in second chances with me.
Now all I can do is sit here and wait. Every minute feels like an hour, and every hour feels like a day.
I “Like” You So Much!!!!
Maggie
Monday, July 12, 2010
Have you ever.......
Have you ever wondered if what wasn't meant to be could be again?
Have you ever thought to yourself, "If it's meant to be it will happen?"
Do you believe in fate?
Do you believe God has chosen 1 person out there just for you?
But what if you met this person when you were young, stupid and immature. At a time in life where you were no where ready for that type of commitment.
Do you ever wonder if God would bring that person back to you, when your at a time in your life where you are ready for that? When you've both growin up, lived a little and now know what you want and what is best?
Which brings me back to my first question, Have you ever thought to yourself "If it's meant to be it will happen?". And if that one thing comes back would you let it back in? Would you allow yourself that temptation of possibly getting hurt?
OR would you through caution to the wind and just GO FOR IT!?
What if this is your only chance to make things right again?
What if this is your "Soul Mate", if that's even a true thing?
What if....
What if...
What if...
Well I don't know about you, but I can't live my life filled with "What if". So I'm putting this is God's hands, it's up to him what happens and I'm ok with that. I know that whatever happens is God's plan and there's nothing I can do change that, it's fate.
Have you ever thought to yourself, "If it's meant to be it will happen?"
Do you believe in fate?
Do you believe God has chosen 1 person out there just for you?
But what if you met this person when you were young, stupid and immature. At a time in life where you were no where ready for that type of commitment.
Do you ever wonder if God would bring that person back to you, when your at a time in your life where you are ready for that? When you've both growin up, lived a little and now know what you want and what is best?
Which brings me back to my first question, Have you ever thought to yourself "If it's meant to be it will happen?". And if that one thing comes back would you let it back in? Would you allow yourself that temptation of possibly getting hurt?
OR would you through caution to the wind and just GO FOR IT!?
What if this is your only chance to make things right again?
What if this is your "Soul Mate", if that's even a true thing?
What if....
What if...
What if...
Well I don't know about you, but I can't live my life filled with "What if". So I'm putting this is God's hands, it's up to him what happens and I'm ok with that. I know that whatever happens is God's plan and there's nothing I can do change that, it's fate.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Please Lord............
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Best Birthday Ever!!!!
What can I say, I had the best 25th Birthday Weekend anyone could ask for. I enjoyed spending time with my family and friends.
Thursday I was chomping at the bit to get the heck out of work and get on the road.
I picked up my nieces Ava & Stella, stopped at Target for some last minute stuff then off we went! Traffic wasn't to bad until we got to the lake and that was stop and go for a while. The girls sang and danced in the car then fell right to sleep after about an hour. It's a givin that they fall asleep in the car :)
The sweetest thing was watching my sister with my nieces once we got there. She missed them so much and you could tell they missed her too!
I can't tell you how much I love those little peanuts, they are so funny, happy, and down right hilarious little things! In the words of Ava, "Mama!!! I WANT A NAP!!!!" ha ha thank you Ava we all had a great laugh over that one.
My best friend Emily came up for the weekend, which was such a treat! I don't think I express to her enough just how much she means to me. Emily has been the glue that has kept me together these past 8 months and I can't Thank her enough. I know I have a hard time expressing things sometimes, but I truly hope she realizes just how much I care about her and her future little family :)
I can't wait to be an Auntie again and spoil that little one once he/she gets here!
This year was a HUGE change of pace compared to the last 10 years over my birthday/4th of July weekend. I normally have 10+ people up at the cabin, but this year after everything that has been going on I knew my family and myself just needed a break from all the craziness of a house full and we kept it to just family.
I think we truly needed that time together to rebound.
We went out on Saturday night for my 25th birthday! My gosh where did time go?! I can't believe I am 25 already. I can remember back in high school hanging out with Erin and her and I talking about where we would be by the time we were 25 and thinking that it was so OLD.
But now here I am, 25 and I have only reached one of my goals I had set for myself. Now I know making goals at 15 isn't to realistic because I had no idea where my life was going to take me 10 years later. I always imagined I would be married, with a little white picked fence, a dog and a kid by now.
But I've had to come to a realization that my plains were not God's plans for me and that's OK. I know God had a hand in every relationship I have ever had, and I know for a fact that he did not feel that any of those people were right or good enough for me. So I will just wait as long as it takes to find that someone who respect me, loves me, and accepts me craziness and all! :) ha ha
No matter how long it takes, I will NEVER settle for less then the best. I deserve it.
One day when I'm ready I will live out my dreams, but right now I know my life needs to be focused on me. As selfish as that sounds I know it's true. I know that I need to finally put myself first. Do you put yourself first? Do you do things that make you happy? If not change that! It doesn't matter if your a husband, wife, mother, father, grandmother, or grandfather, no matter what role in life you play, no matter how important, you must still find time to put yourself first.
Even if it's a walk, or a nap, do something that makes you happy. I've learned that no matter how much someone tells you they love you, or tell you how beautiful you are it's not enough if you don't feel that way about yourself.
No matter how many times my ex told me I was beautiful I never felt that way, I never understood why he saw me like that. Not until I truly put myself first and started to improve me did I truly understand why he told me I was beautiful. As most of you know that relationship did not end well, but one thing that, that man never did was make me feel ugly. He truly went out of his way to make me feel beautiful. So if there's only one good thing I can take out of that relationship, or one thing I could actually thank him for it would be that.
Bare with me guys I know this is getting long, but so much has been going on, and I just feel like I need to inspire myself and others right now. I need the motivation to get my butt back into things today. I didn't do so great at the cabin this weekend. I did however makes sure I went for walks and it was so hot I think I sweated out just as much as I would have at the gym.
As I sit here at work I can't stop thinking about getting to the gym! I need to get back to the daily grind, I truly miss it. I miss that sweat, hard work, and that amazing feeling after it's all said and done. That high you get leaving, knowing you just spent 2 hours of your day doing something good for yourself!
Oh my gosh I don't want to forget to mention something. I have truly found a new respect and love for my parents. Yesterday we spent an hour just the three of us sitting in the living just talking about life, joking around with each other and laughing so much. Yes we tend to pick on each other but it's all in good fun. I know my parent's love me but I also know I needed to get out of their house and they needed me to leave. I needed to realize what it's like to truly grow up, and they needed to be empty nesters. Now I do see my Mom almost every day still because we go to the gym together but my Dad and I now have a stronger bond I think because I don't live with them. There's a new respect level, and I believe they now see me more as an adult. And to be completely honest, I wouldn't give up that feeling for anything in this whole world.
Now if you know me pretty well you may already know that I have a hard time expressing my feelings about current things. It's so easy for me to say I love you, give hugs and kisses to my nieces, I could do it all day.
However, I have a hard time doing that with anyone else. I'm slowly starting to come out of my shell but I am very reserved and closed off to a lot of people. It's hard for me sometimes to say I love you, or even give a hug. Not because I don't love you, but because I am now scared of opening up to anyone. All I can say right now if you're reading this and you feel as if I do not show you that I care about you, or that I love you, please take my word for it. I truly love you and I am so grateful to have you in my life.
So now that it is already Tuesday, I'm so off on my days! I have to get back to the grind of life, focus on me, move forward and love me! I am going to leave everyone on some good notes, I'm going to share some of my favorite pictures from this past weekend and share with you some of my favorite quotes. These quotes help me get through tough days.
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as I did!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Mags
RIP Grandpa Munn
"If you don't get lost there's a chance you may never be found" ~ Unknown Author
"I'll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel til the river runs dry" ~ Garth Brooks
"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want." ~Mark Twain
Thursday I was chomping at the bit to get the heck out of work and get on the road.
I picked up my nieces Ava & Stella, stopped at Target for some last minute stuff then off we went! Traffic wasn't to bad until we got to the lake and that was stop and go for a while. The girls sang and danced in the car then fell right to sleep after about an hour. It's a givin that they fall asleep in the car :)
The sweetest thing was watching my sister with my nieces once we got there. She missed them so much and you could tell they missed her too!
I can't tell you how much I love those little peanuts, they are so funny, happy, and down right hilarious little things! In the words of Ava, "Mama!!! I WANT A NAP!!!!" ha ha thank you Ava we all had a great laugh over that one.
My best friend Emily came up for the weekend, which was such a treat! I don't think I express to her enough just how much she means to me. Emily has been the glue that has kept me together these past 8 months and I can't Thank her enough. I know I have a hard time expressing things sometimes, but I truly hope she realizes just how much I care about her and her future little family :)
I can't wait to be an Auntie again and spoil that little one once he/she gets here!
This year was a HUGE change of pace compared to the last 10 years over my birthday/4th of July weekend. I normally have 10+ people up at the cabin, but this year after everything that has been going on I knew my family and myself just needed a break from all the craziness of a house full and we kept it to just family.
I think we truly needed that time together to rebound.
We went out on Saturday night for my 25th birthday! My gosh where did time go?! I can't believe I am 25 already. I can remember back in high school hanging out with Erin and her and I talking about where we would be by the time we were 25 and thinking that it was so OLD.
But now here I am, 25 and I have only reached one of my goals I had set for myself. Now I know making goals at 15 isn't to realistic because I had no idea where my life was going to take me 10 years later. I always imagined I would be married, with a little white picked fence, a dog and a kid by now.
But I've had to come to a realization that my plains were not God's plans for me and that's OK. I know God had a hand in every relationship I have ever had, and I know for a fact that he did not feel that any of those people were right or good enough for me. So I will just wait as long as it takes to find that someone who respect me, loves me, and accepts me craziness and all! :) ha ha
No matter how long it takes, I will NEVER settle for less then the best. I deserve it.
One day when I'm ready I will live out my dreams, but right now I know my life needs to be focused on me. As selfish as that sounds I know it's true. I know that I need to finally put myself first. Do you put yourself first? Do you do things that make you happy? If not change that! It doesn't matter if your a husband, wife, mother, father, grandmother, or grandfather, no matter what role in life you play, no matter how important, you must still find time to put yourself first.
Even if it's a walk, or a nap, do something that makes you happy. I've learned that no matter how much someone tells you they love you, or tell you how beautiful you are it's not enough if you don't feel that way about yourself.
No matter how many times my ex told me I was beautiful I never felt that way, I never understood why he saw me like that. Not until I truly put myself first and started to improve me did I truly understand why he told me I was beautiful. As most of you know that relationship did not end well, but one thing that, that man never did was make me feel ugly. He truly went out of his way to make me feel beautiful. So if there's only one good thing I can take out of that relationship, or one thing I could actually thank him for it would be that.
Bare with me guys I know this is getting long, but so much has been going on, and I just feel like I need to inspire myself and others right now. I need the motivation to get my butt back into things today. I didn't do so great at the cabin this weekend. I did however makes sure I went for walks and it was so hot I think I sweated out just as much as I would have at the gym.
As I sit here at work I can't stop thinking about getting to the gym! I need to get back to the daily grind, I truly miss it. I miss that sweat, hard work, and that amazing feeling after it's all said and done. That high you get leaving, knowing you just spent 2 hours of your day doing something good for yourself!
Oh my gosh I don't want to forget to mention something. I have truly found a new respect and love for my parents. Yesterday we spent an hour just the three of us sitting in the living just talking about life, joking around with each other and laughing so much. Yes we tend to pick on each other but it's all in good fun. I know my parent's love me but I also know I needed to get out of their house and they needed me to leave. I needed to realize what it's like to truly grow up, and they needed to be empty nesters. Now I do see my Mom almost every day still because we go to the gym together but my Dad and I now have a stronger bond I think because I don't live with them. There's a new respect level, and I believe they now see me more as an adult. And to be completely honest, I wouldn't give up that feeling for anything in this whole world.
Now if you know me pretty well you may already know that I have a hard time expressing my feelings about current things. It's so easy for me to say I love you, give hugs and kisses to my nieces, I could do it all day.
However, I have a hard time doing that with anyone else. I'm slowly starting to come out of my shell but I am very reserved and closed off to a lot of people. It's hard for me sometimes to say I love you, or even give a hug. Not because I don't love you, but because I am now scared of opening up to anyone. All I can say right now if you're reading this and you feel as if I do not show you that I care about you, or that I love you, please take my word for it. I truly love you and I am so grateful to have you in my life.
So now that it is already Tuesday, I'm so off on my days! I have to get back to the grind of life, focus on me, move forward and love me! I am going to leave everyone on some good notes, I'm going to share some of my favorite pictures from this past weekend and share with you some of my favorite quotes. These quotes help me get through tough days.
I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as I did!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Mags
RIP Grandpa Munn
"If you don't get lost there's a chance you may never be found" ~ Unknown Author
"I'll never reach my destination if I never try, so I will sail my vessel til the river runs dry" ~ Garth Brooks
"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want." ~Mark Twain
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
**Some of my FAVORITE pictures!!**
Rachael, Sara, Megs & I 
The girls for Rachael's Wedding
Rachael & I 
Uncle Nick & Stella 
Grandma CeCe & Ava dancin
Me being silly, BIG BLONDE HAIR!!!!
Mary & Jack Jack on our last walk together 
Jordan, Me, Megs & Em always have fun together!!
Grandpa & Ava reading together
The Helsper kids! 
Emily & I @ Rachael's Wedding 
The future! Baby Betlach!!
Stella & Ava as BABIES!!!On a light note! I thought I would share some of my FAVORITE pictures!
I'm getting ready for this LONG weekend and 25th birthday. I hope you all have a great weekend, and enjoy time with family and friends!!
Until next time
Health & Happiness
XO XO Maggie!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Overcoming Self Destruction
Now being the person I am and have always been I try to find the easy way out of more things. So when it came to me not feeling well yesterday I sat at my desk thinking to myself all day about every excuse I could come up with as to why I was NOT going to the gym that night.
I DID however not feel well, but I also knew that working out helps with what was wrong with me. But a small part of me just didn't want to do it! I just wanted to go home, lay on the couch and watch "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" and call it a day!
But the more I sat here the more I knew I had to push myself and just go. So 4:30pm came and it was time to break out of here and I decided to just let my car take me where it thought I should go. All along I knew it was my mind that decided to turn my car right and not left to go home.
I pushed myself to go to the gym, I knew it wasn't going to be a HUGE work out because I still wasn't feeling well but by the time I got there and got started it didn't even bother me anymore.
Finally 6:30pm rolled around, I lost track of time and didn't realize I had been there for almost 2 hours. So my advise to anyone who is deep down "self destructing", meaning not allowing yourself that feeling of self gratitude then get up and do something about it! YOU hold your own destiny in your hands; no one else does.
Don't let anyone bring you down, strive to do your best, and move forward in life never back.
I'm not gonna lie a tiny little part of me loved the complements from friends and family, it makes you want to keep going and show them just what your made of!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
I DID however not feel well, but I also knew that working out helps with what was wrong with me. But a small part of me just didn't want to do it! I just wanted to go home, lay on the couch and watch "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" and call it a day!
But the more I sat here the more I knew I had to push myself and just go. So 4:30pm came and it was time to break out of here and I decided to just let my car take me where it thought I should go. All along I knew it was my mind that decided to turn my car right and not left to go home.
I pushed myself to go to the gym, I knew it wasn't going to be a HUGE work out because I still wasn't feeling well but by the time I got there and got started it didn't even bother me anymore.
Finally 6:30pm rolled around, I lost track of time and didn't realize I had been there for almost 2 hours. So my advise to anyone who is deep down "self destructing", meaning not allowing yourself that feeling of self gratitude then get up and do something about it! YOU hold your own destiny in your hands; no one else does.
Don't let anyone bring you down, strive to do your best, and move forward in life never back.
I'm not gonna lie a tiny little part of me loved the complements from friends and family, it makes you want to keep going and show them just what your made of!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Monday, June 28, 2010
June 28th, 1993
17 years ago today, I lost my only living Grandfather; the man I shared my birthday with and the man who taught me the importance of family and love.
My Grandpa Jim left a huge whole in my heart. Yes I was pretty young when he passed but I remember everything about him, and sadly enough I also remember everything about the day of his funeral.
My Grandpa passed 5 days before our birthday on July 3rd.
I think of him every day, and even more on our birthday. Every year before I blow out my candles I wish that my Grandpa is proud of me and I wish him a Happy Birthday.
Maybe it's because I share the same birthday with him, or that my middle name is Jamie the male version of James, but I have always fault very close to him.
I remember the little things about my Grandpa that made me smile, like when we were kids we spent a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's and Grandpa made sure we played outside a lot! So he would sit out there with us while we rode our bikes up and down the street, played Red light Green light or Captain May I with him.
When I think about him now I think about how much he would have LOVED Ava and Stella (my nieces) and how proud he would be of my sister Michelle.
I know he watch's over us, and I know for a fact he is with us especially at Grandma's house when we are all together.
My Uncle Johnny is the spiting image of my Grandpa Jim and acts just like him so every time he is in town I enjoy spending time with him and hearing stories about my Grandpa. Also, my Dad is slowly looking like Grandpa and my brother looks just like my Dad. So as life moves on and we all grow up we all have a small part of Grandpa growing up with us.
So as I turn 25 on Saturday I will yet again blow out my candles for my Grandpa and remember him with some tears and a lot of smiles :)
RIP Grandpa Jim I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
My Grandpa Jim left a huge whole in my heart. Yes I was pretty young when he passed but I remember everything about him, and sadly enough I also remember everything about the day of his funeral.
My Grandpa passed 5 days before our birthday on July 3rd.
I think of him every day, and even more on our birthday. Every year before I blow out my candles I wish that my Grandpa is proud of me and I wish him a Happy Birthday.
Maybe it's because I share the same birthday with him, or that my middle name is Jamie the male version of James, but I have always fault very close to him.
I remember the little things about my Grandpa that made me smile, like when we were kids we spent a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's and Grandpa made sure we played outside a lot! So he would sit out there with us while we rode our bikes up and down the street, played Red light Green light or Captain May I with him.
When I think about him now I think about how much he would have LOVED Ava and Stella (my nieces) and how proud he would be of my sister Michelle.
I know he watch's over us, and I know for a fact he is with us especially at Grandma's house when we are all together.
My Uncle Johnny is the spiting image of my Grandpa Jim and acts just like him so every time he is in town I enjoy spending time with him and hearing stories about my Grandpa. Also, my Dad is slowly looking like Grandpa and my brother looks just like my Dad. So as life moves on and we all grow up we all have a small part of Grandpa growing up with us.
So as I turn 25 on Saturday I will yet again blow out my candles for my Grandpa and remember him with some tears and a lot of smiles :)
RIP Grandpa Jim I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Tomorrow's not guaranteed
You learn the hard way in life that tomorrow is not a guarantee, that you need to live for today, and not take anything or anyone for granted.
Unfortunately, my best friend learned that today. On the weekend of her cousin's wedding, a time that should be filled with Joy, Smiles, and Happy Tears my Dear friend Emily lost her Grandma.
I've had to deal with the sadness of losing a lot of people in my life, so I know just what she is going through right now. No matter how many times you told them you loved them it seems like it was never enough, you live with regrets that you didn't see them enough, you didn't visit them as often, because life got so crazy. You have to live with the fact that you didn't get that chance to say goodbye before they passed, or that they won't be there for that milestone in your life.
I have to live with the fact that I never visited my Aunt in the hospital until the day she went into a coma, and even then I was so torn up in side the words I wanted to get out just couldn't come out. All I could do was cry, cry about all the stupid, immature decisions I made about not going to see her and the fact that this was going to be the last time I had a chance to talk to her.
For 1 week we all the chance to talk to her, and tell her everything we ever wanted to say. We got to hold her hand, watch TV with her and tell stories up until the night she left us.
It doesn't matter how much time goes by, I still regret the choices I made in that situation and it still kills me inside.
I had my time alone with her to tell her everything, and even though she was not with me physically anymore, I know she heard me.
So I feel for Emily on this sad day, and understand what she is going through. I pray for peace for her and her family as they go into this rough weekend.
I hope that they can find some smiles and happy stories to get them through it.
God has a plan for each and every one of us. We may not like it, but it's not our choice.
So everyone do me a favor, tell everyone you love just how much you love them, give them a hug and a kiss, go see your grandma or grandpa you haven't seen in a while, call your aunt or uncle, cousin or even friend and share with them how much they mean to you. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Please keep Emily and her family in your prayers.
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
XO XO LOVE YOU!
Maggie
Unfortunately, my best friend learned that today. On the weekend of her cousin's wedding, a time that should be filled with Joy, Smiles, and Happy Tears my Dear friend Emily lost her Grandma.
I've had to deal with the sadness of losing a lot of people in my life, so I know just what she is going through right now. No matter how many times you told them you loved them it seems like it was never enough, you live with regrets that you didn't see them enough, you didn't visit them as often, because life got so crazy. You have to live with the fact that you didn't get that chance to say goodbye before they passed, or that they won't be there for that milestone in your life.
I have to live with the fact that I never visited my Aunt in the hospital until the day she went into a coma, and even then I was so torn up in side the words I wanted to get out just couldn't come out. All I could do was cry, cry about all the stupid, immature decisions I made about not going to see her and the fact that this was going to be the last time I had a chance to talk to her.
For 1 week we all the chance to talk to her, and tell her everything we ever wanted to say. We got to hold her hand, watch TV with her and tell stories up until the night she left us.
It doesn't matter how much time goes by, I still regret the choices I made in that situation and it still kills me inside.
I had my time alone with her to tell her everything, and even though she was not with me physically anymore, I know she heard me.
So I feel for Emily on this sad day, and understand what she is going through. I pray for peace for her and her family as they go into this rough weekend.
I hope that they can find some smiles and happy stories to get them through it.
God has a plan for each and every one of us. We may not like it, but it's not our choice.
So everyone do me a favor, tell everyone you love just how much you love them, give them a hug and a kiss, go see your grandma or grandpa you haven't seen in a while, call your aunt or uncle, cousin or even friend and share with them how much they mean to you. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Please keep Emily and her family in your prayers.
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
XO XO LOVE YOU!
Maggie
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
*Reached my first goal*
A small goal of mine was to fit into a belt I bought. A few months back I bought a belt that I found on sale, yet I knew it was 1 size to small I just told myself that one day I would fit into it. Now please don't run out and buy something 2-3 sizes to small and convince yourself that you will one day fit into it. Because be prepared that it may not work out that way.
However, since I decided not to weigh myself and go by the way my clothes fit I chose this belt to be my first goal.
To my surprise, I went to put this belt on for work this morning surprise surprise IT FIT!
After only 2 weeks or Healthy Trim, working out, and healthy eating it fit!
Here's my thought for the day, once you've started feeling good find that pair of pants, shirt or even belt in the back of your closet that you haven't seen for a LONG time and try it on. You may be surprised at the results you get. :)
Now on a sad note, I was so exhausted, sweaty and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and I forgot that my IPOD was in my pocket and throw it in the washing machine!
So I'm now IPODless! :(
Hopefully I can find one on Craigslist for cheap!
Back to work I go, off to the gym after!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
However, since I decided not to weigh myself and go by the way my clothes fit I chose this belt to be my first goal.
To my surprise, I went to put this belt on for work this morning surprise surprise IT FIT!
After only 2 weeks or Healthy Trim, working out, and healthy eating it fit!
Here's my thought for the day, once you've started feeling good find that pair of pants, shirt or even belt in the back of your closet that you haven't seen for a LONG time and try it on. You may be surprised at the results you get. :)
Now on a sad note, I was so exhausted, sweaty and all I wanted to do was get in the shower and I forgot that my IPOD was in my pocket and throw it in the washing machine!
So I'm now IPODless! :(
Hopefully I can find one on Craigslist for cheap!
Back to work I go, off to the gym after!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Monday, June 21, 2010
Father's Day Weekend
Father's Day weekend was very nice because we got to spend it at the lake with Dad.
Mom, Dad, Nick and I helped Dad get stuff done around the lake, and at night we spent time together having dinner and going for boat rides. Saturday night I got Dad a special dessert for Father's Day, and I gave him his gift. I made my Dad a DVD Slide show, and two framed pictures. The slide show as a hit! We all had a few tears of joy an some of sadness. Grandma Helsper and Jack the Dog were in the video and each and every time we see pictures of Grandpa or Jack we all get a little upset. Jack is a recent lose so of course we are all still a little sensitive to that, but Grandpa Helsper is still a sore spot for all of us. Even after leaving us 17 years ago (my gosh it feels like just yesterday) we all get choked up by the sight of his pictures or home videos. It just shows how much of an impact he left on all of our lives. I see my aunt crying because she misses her Dad, and I see my Dad crying because he also misses his Dad. I think to myself that one day when I am older and I think back at the impact my Dad is leaving on my life I know I will have the same reaction. My grandfather and I share the same birthday, and I always thought I was a little bit closer to him because of that. Yes I was pretty young when he passed, but I remember every little thing about him. Like the time he tricked me into going to grab him a bag of Halloween candy and when I walked in the living room there stood this 6'0 tall Gorilla that scared the living day lights out of me, but just hearing him and Dick laughing in the kitchen made up for it all. Or how he would ask us to spell things for him and then he would pull out his tiny little dictionary and double check our work, or how he would sing these silly songs on Easter, and some song about having freckles on our butt. LOL
So on this Father's Day I didn't only think of my father but also of my Grandfathers.
Now even though I was never lucky enough to meet my Mom's Dad, I think about him all the time. I go visit his grave site and talk to him a lot. I want him to be proud of my Mom at everything she has done for our family, to see how well she did raising three children, and how well she did for herself. I've only seen a few pictures of my Grandpa Munn but I sure as heck know I look like him!
So now after a nice relaxing weekend it's back to the daily grind, my typical Monday - Friday, healthy trim, the gym, healthy eating, and self improvement.
I hope that everyone enjoyed there weekend!
And stay cool this week, because it's going to get HOT!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Oh and PS. My brother just saw me for the first time in two weeks, and he could already tell I was losing weight and my energy is up. :) it was the first thing he said to me!
Oh how I LOVE HIM!
Mom, Dad, Nick and I helped Dad get stuff done around the lake, and at night we spent time together having dinner and going for boat rides. Saturday night I got Dad a special dessert for Father's Day, and I gave him his gift. I made my Dad a DVD Slide show, and two framed pictures. The slide show as a hit! We all had a few tears of joy an some of sadness. Grandma Helsper and Jack the Dog were in the video and each and every time we see pictures of Grandpa or Jack we all get a little upset. Jack is a recent lose so of course we are all still a little sensitive to that, but Grandpa Helsper is still a sore spot for all of us. Even after leaving us 17 years ago (my gosh it feels like just yesterday) we all get choked up by the sight of his pictures or home videos. It just shows how much of an impact he left on all of our lives. I see my aunt crying because she misses her Dad, and I see my Dad crying because he also misses his Dad. I think to myself that one day when I am older and I think back at the impact my Dad is leaving on my life I know I will have the same reaction. My grandfather and I share the same birthday, and I always thought I was a little bit closer to him because of that. Yes I was pretty young when he passed, but I remember every little thing about him. Like the time he tricked me into going to grab him a bag of Halloween candy and when I walked in the living room there stood this 6'0 tall Gorilla that scared the living day lights out of me, but just hearing him and Dick laughing in the kitchen made up for it all. Or how he would ask us to spell things for him and then he would pull out his tiny little dictionary and double check our work, or how he would sing these silly songs on Easter, and some song about having freckles on our butt. LOL
So on this Father's Day I didn't only think of my father but also of my Grandfathers.
Now even though I was never lucky enough to meet my Mom's Dad, I think about him all the time. I go visit his grave site and talk to him a lot. I want him to be proud of my Mom at everything she has done for our family, to see how well she did raising three children, and how well she did for herself. I've only seen a few pictures of my Grandpa Munn but I sure as heck know I look like him!
So now after a nice relaxing weekend it's back to the daily grind, my typical Monday - Friday, healthy trim, the gym, healthy eating, and self improvement.
I hope that everyone enjoyed there weekend!
And stay cool this week, because it's going to get HOT!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Oh and PS. My brother just saw me for the first time in two weeks, and he could already tell I was losing weight and my energy is up. :) it was the first thing he said to me!
Oh how I LOVE HIM!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Eating Healthy
On top of exercising and taking Healthy Trim it’s all about what you eat. Last night I made a HUGE thing of veggie’s, brown rice and chicken. Things have gotten harder trying to find something to eat when I’m not home. I make sure to pack a healthy lunch and a couple healthy snacks to get me through the day. But by the time 4pm rolls around I’m hungry and need some energy to get me through my work out. I’ve started trying portent bars and energy bars, and so far my favorite is PowerBars! Cliff bars are ok, some are them leave a gross after taste. But by the time I drink all my water, eat my Powerbar, and work out I’m starving on my way home! So last night when I got home around 8:30pm I knew it was way to late to be eating anything heavy, and I needed to get started on making my brown rice and chicken I threw together some eggs and fruit. It was a great choice! Not heavy, just enough to make my hungry feeling go away.
I hope that my own experiences can teach people some new tips. Obviously my old habits will teach you what NOT to do and what NOT to eat. This is anything you can by in a drive thru or that cost less then $1.00. My blog is a way to keep me held accountable and to possibly inspire someone else to improve they’re lives. I truly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my blog, I know that they can get long and happen almost every day but in a way this is my therapy ha ha and it’s free!
My friend Laura just got a membership at Planet Fitness! I’m super excited to work out with her! My Mom also wants to join PF and I hope she does! It’s so nice to see something so good for all of us, bring us all together.
Everyone do me a favor, do something for yourself today; no one else just you.
It will make a difference!
Can’t believe tomorrow is already Friday, I can’t wait to get to the lake. I just hope the rain stays FAR FAR AWAY!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My New Seond Home!
Planet Fitness oh how I LOVE YOU!!!!
So last night was my first official work out at Planet Fitness in
I can’t tell you in words just how much I love this place! Not just because they’re motto is “No Egos”, but because the place was full of REAL PEOPLE!
Everyone was there for one reason and one reason only, to improve there health. The other motto is “No Judgment” which I think it very important. Not to name any names but some of the OTHER gyms in our area are full of women who get dressed up, wear make up, and curl there hair just to go to the gym and stare at themselves in the mirrors, and not mention the men who come in there muscle shirts and stand around the weight room looking in the mirror flexing their muscles.
I don’t know about you, but that kind of gym just intimidated me. But last night as I was running (aka training to run) I looked around at the diversity of the people there, and realized that no one, not one person there was staring at me or judging me for not being a great runner. While I was lifting a women even came up to me and asked for some advice; because according her “I sure as heck look like I know what I am doing”. Ha ha well that’s the perks of having my brother Nick around. Nick has ALWAYS been my 6’3 BIG brother who inspires me to really go for what I want. My brother decided at the age of 20 (I’m pretty sure or 21) that he would not live his life this way anymore. My brother weighted in at the time around 340 if I can remember right. And the only reason I will mention that is because he is now a SLIM 190-210 and he did it ALL BY HIMSELF! No surgery, no pills, just old fashioned HARD WORK! I’m not sure if he knows but I truly admire and look up to him. Maybe it’s because he inspires me to be a better, healthier person, but I also think it’s because he has never once judged me for being who I am, he has only encouraged me to be a better person. Him and I used to work out together, and it may sound weird to some people but whenever my big brother would tell me how good I am starting to look it really boosted my self esteem to have someone who has gone through what I am going through tell me something like that it really hits me. One of my goals right now is for my brother to notice every time I’m around him that I’m changing; I don’t get to see him all to often so I hope that when I do I will get that same reaction I was getting from him a few years ago. I’m not going to lie and tell you that this new lifestyle change of mine (not a DIET people, a lifestyle change) is easy; it’s pretty hard to be honest. Your body has to learn how to eat again, and your mind has to learn how to think again. You have to teach your body what it is like to be truly “hungry”. I can say that up until a week ago I honestly forgot what it’s like to be hungry. My life was filled with empty calories and drive-thrus. I have learned that if you can order it from your car you SHOULD NOT EAT IT! (Unless it’s subway drive thru) AND if you order it from your car and it cost $1.00 or less you SHOULD NOT EAT IT!
My biggest challenge this weekend with be going to the cabin and eating healthy. My mom always does a great job cooking healthy food for all of us but there’s always pop, ice cream, and candy everywhere. So my goal for the weekend is to make sure I at least go for a walk/run while I’m there, and stay far far away from anything besides water and Mom’s cooking! Now I am not a huge fan of wasting food, and I do have to admit because of bad shopping habits I do have some chips and cookies in the kitchen that I need to get rid of. Now had it been 2 months ago, I would have convinced myself that it’s bad to waste it, and since I paid for it I’d better eat it and start my “diet” tomorrow.
Oh man am I wrong! And thank God I figured that out now. Those chips and cookies are still sitting in the kitchen, and I have NO desire to eat them. The cookies are most likely old by now, but the chips aren’t. So instead of wasting them and throwing them away, I’ll just bring them to my Dad and he can keep them at the lake for a treat when no ones there to cook for me. Ha ha. Love you Dad!
Now I apologize if this gets long, I just feel like I have so much to say now that my life is an open book, nothing is hidden, and I’m just letting you all into my wonderful new life! Man who knows if anyone even reads this. J
In a sense this is a way for me to just let everything out; kind of like a public journal. I’ve been told in the past that I tend to keep my feelings bottled up inside and whenever anyone asks me how I’m feeling I just say “fine”. However, I know for a fact my feelings and emotions are written ALL OVER MY FACE, I still need to let it all out so that I don’t explode!
I’ve learned in the last few months that life is to short to sit around and be unhappy. God put me on this earth to do something spectacular with my life, now I don’t know what that is right at this moment but I finally feel like I’m on the path to figure that out.
Now on a light note, today I celebrated my two year anniversary with United Healthcare. As much as my current job isn’t the greatest I am so grateful to have my foot in the door at such a huge company that has so much more to offer me, and if not it sure as heck looks good on my resume. J
I’m going to leave everyone on that note, I hope you all enjoy this sun we are finally seeing! Get out and get moving people, you only have one life, so get out and live it!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
My Weekend of Temptations.......
My first weekend on Healthy Trim went off without a hitch! I made it through the whole weekend without cheating , minus 1 cocktail at Friendly City Days which wasn’t to bad for me seeing as I followed along with what my sister Michelle was drinking, because she always watches what she eats and drinks. No it wasn’t as good as a beer would have been but it was great! Like I said Saturday night we went to Albertville’s Friendly City Days for Jim’s birthday (AND all the great food at their house I had to stay away from!), I’m not going to lie I was a little nervous about the whole situation. But all and all it went off well! However Saturday Day I spent the day with my mom and my twin nieces Ava & Stella at Maple Maze in Maple Grove, it’s a pretty awesome place for the girls. They had a great time getting to play with other kids and socializing. After that we took them to lunch at Buca! They loved it! My mom and I shared a salad and I drank LOTS of water which I am supposed to be doing every day. Sunday was pretty low key, just ran some errands got lots done around my house and then laid low for the night. I’ve had to learn a lot about not letting things in my personal life affect my progress with my weight loss and happiness. Monday was a hard day to say the least. I pushed away someone who I truly care about because I was scared. I tried to find every thing wrong with him so I could push him away because I was too scared to deal with the outcome of anything. I was too scared to hear him tell me he didn’t want to be with me, so instead of waiting for it to happen I did it myself. I know now that it wasn’t worth it. I’ve now lost a great person in my life, someone I’ve known since I was born and I am the only one to blame for that. I now know it is something I need to work on, and hope that this hasn’t ruined our life long friendship, but I know that it will take time before we can repair anything as friends let alone as anything else. So as I keep going on and on about this person I think people should know, and maybe even him since I don’t think we’ve ever really talked about it, but I’ve known this person since before I can even remember. I knew since I was a little girl I had such a crush on him. And for years and years it was back and fourth flirting until I FINALLY got the nerve to hang out with him (without my brother) and that crash I had before was even bigger. I know how silly I sound right now, especially if those feelings aren’t what he felt towards me. But I hope that somewhere deep down at one point he did feel the same way. All I can do now is learn from my mistakes, work on myself, and move forward. I pray to God I did not ruin a great friendship but I have a feeling I won’t truly know for a very long time. “If you love someone let them go, if it’s meant to be they will come back”. So that’s what I am doing, letting go, moving forward and hoping for a Happy Ending some day soon. Now is time for me to work on me, so that one day I don’t do this again. On a lighter note I’m super excited to get my hair done tonight! My Mama is taking me to Jill (her hairstyles) for my early birthday present. I couldn’t be happier and more appreciative because believe me I would NEVER spend the kind of money on my hair that my mom and sister do. I’d rather buy clothes Ha ha so next time you’ll see me I’ll be blonde! Until next time, Health & Happiness Maggie
Monday, June 14, 2010
Happy Monday!
I'll be adding my blog tonight regarding my wonderful weekend!
But as I sit here staring at this computer screen so many things came swirling through my head. Someone once told me always look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Well up until a few weeks ago I never truly understood what that meant because I hadn't even made it to the tunnel yet, let alone any closer to see this "light" at the end of it. The past few months of my life have been pretty dark, lonely, sad, upseting, and VERY challenging. My best friend tells me all the time that I am such a strong person for having to go through everything I did and yet still came out at the end. No it wasn't pretty and full of smiles. It was more like, depressing and full of tears but I made it! I know Emily meant well when telling me how strong I am but I also know that me being "strong" is a dark side of me I do not like. I will always be strong, independent, & self efficient, but through this new journey in life I will learn how to do that in a happier, nicer manner. So I've come to realize that you will not reach the light at the end of the tunnel until you finally approach that tunnel. So everyone do me a favor, when it gets dark in your life, go search, RUN for that light at the end of the tunnel.
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
But as I sit here staring at this computer screen so many things came swirling through my head. Someone once told me always look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Well up until a few weeks ago I never truly understood what that meant because I hadn't even made it to the tunnel yet, let alone any closer to see this "light" at the end of it. The past few months of my life have been pretty dark, lonely, sad, upseting, and VERY challenging. My best friend tells me all the time that I am such a strong person for having to go through everything I did and yet still came out at the end. No it wasn't pretty and full of smiles. It was more like, depressing and full of tears but I made it! I know Emily meant well when telling me how strong I am but I also know that me being "strong" is a dark side of me I do not like. I will always be strong, independent, & self efficient, but through this new journey in life I will learn how to do that in a happier, nicer manner. So I've come to realize that you will not reach the light at the end of the tunnel until you finally approach that tunnel. So everyone do me a favor, when it gets dark in your life, go search, RUN for that light at the end of the tunnel.
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Friday, June 11, 2010
My 1st day!
My morning didn't start out as planned, I woke up at 4:15am to a huge thunderstorm and crazy lighting. Once I finally got out of bed at 5am I took my first Healthe Trim pill, drank my two bottles of water and got ready for work. Now normally I need AT LEAST two cups of coffee before even getting to work. But today that wasn't the case. Even after having to go to work earlier then normal, I was not tired driving to work; which I normally am.
I was a lot more alert, I got a lot more energy and things seemed to get done a lot faster today. :) I made sure to drink my 8-10 glasses of water, and had a small snack and lunch.
Even though it's only the first day I've tried Healthe Trim I felt fine, no side effects (which I haven't read of anyone having any) and nothing seemed to different then any other day.
I'm so excited to see what tomorrow brings!
I've decided once I started writing this blog I would not allow any negativity to be written because that does not help any ones progress. The only thing I will say and I'll only say it once, my life has not been perfect and these past 6 months I've had to learn a lot of hard life lessons, but I would not take anything back if I could. God has a path for each and everyone of us to walk down. Now mine might have been rough and bumpy for a while there, but I know for a fact that God would never give me anything He didn't think I could handle. So in a strange way it's nice to know that God see's me as a STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WELL ROUNDED young women who has so much in life to give.
Some people say I'm overly emotional, I cry to much, and that how I feel is written all over my face, but in no way does that make me any less then anyone else. I may have my heart on my sleeve, but at least I have it out there for anyone to see, it's a BIG heart that has been there for everyone and anyone who has ever asked for a helping hand or even better then that, not even having to ask I just do it. So if anyone thinks that my flaw in life is that I care to much, I put other people first, that I am wrong for wanting to be close to my friends and family, and always feeling that I need to protect everyone I love then I wish you would keep your feelings to yourself.
I am who I am, I'm never going to change for you, I'm only going to change for myself. But I won't change that I care, that I love, or that I protect, I'll just change how I express that, and to whom I express it too.
As I sit in my living room, candles lite around me, I think about all the amazing things I do have in my life. I am Thankful to have such amazing parents who would do anything for me, yet on the other hand would be the first to put me in place. And sometimes it's just what I need then to do! I am Thankful and Blessed to have SO many amazing friends who have taught me recently just what a true friend is. Thankful am I for the beautiful nieces I have been blessed with. Unless you have nieces or nephews you may not understand but it's an unconditional love that you can't even put into words. Those two little girls have given me so much joy in times that I thought my world was coming to an end. You could be having the WORST day of your life, but the second you see their face and they yell "MAGGIE!!" you know that, that little person couldn't be more happy to see you. Knowing that someone so small has so much joy and love, brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.
And as I write this I'm listening to my favorite song, one that has gotten me through some tough times and made me realize that no matter what is going on in your life you need to keep on keeping on!
I hope that everyone enjoys there weekend regardless of the rain!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Garth Brooks "The River"
"And I will sail my vessel
til the river runs dry
like a bird upon the wild
these waters are my sky
I'll NEVER REACH MY DESTINATION
if I never try
So I will sail my vessel to the river runs dry.
There's bound to be rough waters,
and I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord
as my captain
I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THEM ALL!!"
I was a lot more alert, I got a lot more energy and things seemed to get done a lot faster today. :) I made sure to drink my 8-10 glasses of water, and had a small snack and lunch.
Even though it's only the first day I've tried Healthe Trim I felt fine, no side effects (which I haven't read of anyone having any) and nothing seemed to different then any other day.
I'm so excited to see what tomorrow brings!
I've decided once I started writing this blog I would not allow any negativity to be written because that does not help any ones progress. The only thing I will say and I'll only say it once, my life has not been perfect and these past 6 months I've had to learn a lot of hard life lessons, but I would not take anything back if I could. God has a path for each and everyone of us to walk down. Now mine might have been rough and bumpy for a while there, but I know for a fact that God would never give me anything He didn't think I could handle. So in a strange way it's nice to know that God see's me as a STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WELL ROUNDED young women who has so much in life to give.
Some people say I'm overly emotional, I cry to much, and that how I feel is written all over my face, but in no way does that make me any less then anyone else. I may have my heart on my sleeve, but at least I have it out there for anyone to see, it's a BIG heart that has been there for everyone and anyone who has ever asked for a helping hand or even better then that, not even having to ask I just do it. So if anyone thinks that my flaw in life is that I care to much, I put other people first, that I am wrong for wanting to be close to my friends and family, and always feeling that I need to protect everyone I love then I wish you would keep your feelings to yourself.
I am who I am, I'm never going to change for you, I'm only going to change for myself. But I won't change that I care, that I love, or that I protect, I'll just change how I express that, and to whom I express it too.
As I sit in my living room, candles lite around me, I think about all the amazing things I do have in my life. I am Thankful to have such amazing parents who would do anything for me, yet on the other hand would be the first to put me in place. And sometimes it's just what I need then to do! I am Thankful and Blessed to have SO many amazing friends who have taught me recently just what a true friend is. Thankful am I for the beautiful nieces I have been blessed with. Unless you have nieces or nephews you may not understand but it's an unconditional love that you can't even put into words. Those two little girls have given me so much joy in times that I thought my world was coming to an end. You could be having the WORST day of your life, but the second you see their face and they yell "MAGGIE!!" you know that, that little person couldn't be more happy to see you. Knowing that someone so small has so much joy and love, brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.
And as I write this I'm listening to my favorite song, one that has gotten me through some tough times and made me realize that no matter what is going on in your life you need to keep on keeping on!
I hope that everyone enjoys there weekend regardless of the rain!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Garth Brooks "The River"
"And I will sail my vessel
til the river runs dry
like a bird upon the wild
these waters are my sky
I'll NEVER REACH MY DESTINATION
if I never try
So I will sail my vessel to the river runs dry.
There's bound to be rough waters,
and I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord
as my captain
I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THEM ALL!!"
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A journey to a healther me!
Hey guys!
It’s been a LONG time coming but I’ve finally realized how important it is in life to put yourself first. I also had to realize that once I was ready to improve myself emotionally and physically it had to be when I was ready. Due to the past events in my life, the stress and heartache I’ve FINALLY realized that it’s my time! So my journey starts by blogging, I’m going to blog hopefully everyday about my process in weight loss and self improvement. I’m following along with a book my mom gave me, “Life’s Simple Guide To Happiness”, I joined Planet Fitness, and I even started on Healthy Trim (as of tomorrow 6/11/2010).
Blogging I think will help keep me motivated to reach my goals, because I know that I am being held accountable. My journey will be a long and hard process but I know I can do.
I can’t wait to keep you all posted on my success!
Until next time,
Health & Happiness
Maggie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)